Sunday, June 28, 2009
Had kind of stressful week, lots going on, least of all getting ready for Jordan's birthday party, which we changed locations for at the last minute, nothing like adding THAT to your stress. However, I am now on a regular cycle for you ladies should know what I mean. If there are any men reading this, sorry..... Well, anyway, now that I am on what seems to be a regular cycle and I have completely weaned Jaden, this has been very emotional week for me. I totally understand why Sarah was so upset and kicked Hagar out, it's tough letting that piece of you go. I mean I was ready to wean, but not only did I wean him, but I am also pondering the thought, he is the LAST baby we will EVER have. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Don't get me wrong. I am totally and completely done having babies mentally, but the emotional part, that I will never again be pregnant and I will never nurse another child, truly stabbed at my heart. When I told Michael this he thought I was completely insane, but the fact of the matter is, while I don't want any more children, 4 is plenty. That chapter of my life, childbearing, is completely closed. It's just sad. Now I just revel and enjoy Jaden for the sweet baby that he is, I can't even believe in less than 3 days he will 1. THAT's Crazy.