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Wife to the most amazing and loving husband, mother of four of the most beautiful children, child of a loving and gracious God.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Not to beat a dead horse but...

I'm trying to get done with my complaining really I am convicted of it, believe me I'm convicted, but just when I think I'll wake up tomorrow with a better attitude the day just starts off really bad. Slept OK last night Jaden woke up at 11:00pm, 2:30am and 5:00am to eat. He ate quickly and I was able to get back to bed in 1/2 an hour each time. No major pooping, thank goodness. He woke up at 6:30 and I was not ready to get out of bed but he was not ready to snuggle so I gave him a pacifier and snuggled. Got up at 7:15 to him screaming and Madison calling me down the hall. I didn't even get a second to pee. Get everyone downstairs, figure I'll take a shower after breakfast we have no where to go and I'm not rushing. Start making breakfast for everyone and coffee for myself, Jaden's in the bouncy seat and is quiet for a few minutes but starts to fuss as soon as all the food is ready (at least he waited). I sit down start to eat my bagel and pick him up, he doesn't seem to be settling down, try nursing him, he doesn't seem interested, try burping him and share my bagel with Madison, he's not burping, give him some gas medicine to see if that helps, not helping but we have lived through the crying before so we will do it again, but I have such a bad headache and it's only 8:00am that I decide to try and put him down for a nap. All I want is for him to sleep and me to enjoy breakfast with my girls. They are of course bickering over a doll and Madison decides she wants to sit on my lap and eat my breakfast instead of hers and proceeds to dump her entire bowl of cereal with Milk and Banana's on the floor. So now I have cereal every where and a screaming toddler and infant. It's all good times. Clean up the cereal and take Jaden upstairs 1/2 an hour before he finally falls asleep. I go back downstairs to try to finish up whatever little breakfast I can salvage and reheat my coffee (I hate reheated coffee but I'm pretty desperate). Madison sees me and comes upstairs, the girls are playing nicely in the basement and I sit down for 5 minutes before I hear from upstairs Jaden crying. Tell Madison to wait for Mommy downstairs which she tells me NO - quite clearly by the way and proceeds to follow me upstairs. I tell her to go play in her room she has lots of toys and I will be with her in a minute. Get Jaden settled back down and decide to take a shower, open the door to check on Madison and she's sitting outside my door on the floor waiting for me (it breaks my heart). She wants to come in and I am stuck if I tell her no she will throw a temper tantrum and wake him up, so I let her come into the bathroom with me but of course she is only momentarily quiet and as soon as my shower starts I hear him screaming again. I take a shower as quickly as possible, I have a doctors appt at 2:30 otherwise I could have waited until tonight when Michael came home but don't want to be smelly for the doctor's appt. By now he has been crying on and off for about 2 hours and I'm getting very stressed. I feel like I have just neglected my other three children who one of them desperately needs me but I can barely get to. I decide to head downstairs and feed him again, Michael calls and hears the stress in my voice, seriously I am trying not to cry and tell him everything is fine, but since he can hear Jaden screaming in the background and since my husband knows me so well, he knows everything is not fine. He says he will try to get home early so I can have a break, I tell him I don't need a break from all the kids just the baby and he says fine. I hang up finish feeding him, call the girls up from the basement I decide after I feed him maybe a change of scenery will do him good and it will help me feel better. I want to something fun with the girls. I pack a couple of snacks and drinks and we finally leave at 11:00am screaming baby in tow, seriously I'm surprised I still have hair. I concede in my mind maybe this baby does have colic. We get in the car it starts up kind of funny not really liking the way it sounds, the battery was dead the other day, decide I'm going to take it for a longer ride than the park so I can charge up the battery. I take the car for a 20 minute ride and then remember that I want to check out the TAE KWON DO place in the shopping center behind our house, get there get everyone out of the car and speak to the man about the classes. I know this story is long but hang in there it's about to take a turn. Start the car and it won't start. IT WON'T START! I get everyone out of the car and decide we are going to walk home it's not that far (mile and a half), glad I brought drinks. We start walking and I call Michael to tell him, he tells me he is on his way I tell him to just meet me at home the babysitter (thank God I had her coming today) will be there at 2:00 so I can get to the doctor's on time, and he tells me he'll ride his bike over to get the car. We start walking and I think OK I know there is a short cut (don't trust short cuts) through this neighborhood that connects to the back side of our development. Well after walking for 15-20 minutes the girls are starting to get a little antsy the double stroller seems to be getting heavier and heavier, we come to a dead end with no connection to our neighborhood. I decide lets cut across the back yard of these houses and hopefully be on a street close to our house. Well since we can't see an invisible fence who knew two little yappy dogs charging out at you from no where could be so scary and freak out Jordan and Kaleigh. Now they really start to cry that they want to go home and I try to reassure them and look up only to see that the street we are on is no where near our house, it is in fact in the complete opposite direction of where we needed to be. So the girls are totally freaked, I'm exhausted (Jaden of course sleeping through all of this). We start walking, I tell them it will be OK we will eventually get home and I start saying a silent prayer that somehow God would take care of us, while trying to figure out what he is trying to teach me in all of this, when low and behold, he answers our prayers. One of the mothers from my girl scout troop and her daughter are driving and see us walking on her street....her street... so she asks what happened we tell her and she offers to give us a ride home. THANK YOU JESUS! I am now so relieved as are the girls, we pile in and she drives us home. We start to chatting and I am now getting out of her car and realize I left my house keys in the car! MY KEYS ARE IN THE CAR PEOPLE!!! She offers to drive me back but I call Michael to find out where he is and luckily he is only 5 minutes away. MY HERO! We get in the house and I feel like crying I'm so mentally and physically exhausted, but feel better after we all eat lunch. I feed Jaden and Karly our babysitter shows up. Michael in the mean time has gotten the car and is in search of a battery at the auto parts store. I head to the doctors in his car, Jaden in tow but he's sound asleep, check up goes well and I feel better. I decided to go get waxed because Lord knows I need to do something for myself, he sleeps almost the entire time I'm there. Why can't he sleep this good at home in HIS bed. I head home Karly is taking the girls to the pool, I said I would join them because Karly can't stay much longer, after I feed Jaden. Go to the pool, just me Jordan and Kaleigh, Michael stays home with Jaden and Madison. It's nice to have sometime with the girls, we play in the water (it's freezing by the way) and then sit in the sun to warm up, both girls take turns sitting on my lap (its been a long time since they have been able to do that) while I chat with another mom I run into at the pool and we finally head home. Michael makes dinner and we eat, I feed Jaden again and he takes Jaden again. I take Jordan, Kaleigh and Madison outside to play. We play in the yard for what seems like and hour and then we come in to get ready for bed. Baths and bed times early so we can start getting back into school night times again. So our day started out REALLY ROUGH, but it didn't end to bad. Tomorrow hopefully will be a better day!

1 comment:

kristen said...

wow michelle, my heart aches for you!! i know jaden is a blessing, but that doesn't mean it isn't added stress - obviously!! whatever he has, he'll outgrow, and you are doing awesome in the meantime... one day at a time, and constant prayers. i'm praying for you too!! i'm glad you got some time with the girls!! you poor thing - what a day this was!