Baby Blues

So I'm starting to have the hormonal withdrawal and the lack of sleep is taking it's toll, even with a nap during the day, I'm starting to have the baby blues, I know it will pass, it has with each of my other's fairly quickly, Kaleigh's lasted the longest but I know that was because of all the medication, I just have to get myself in gear spend some more time in the word (it always lifts my spirits) and remember this too shall pass.

I have some really cute pictures to post but it's going to take me a little bit.

Reflection on God's Perfect Plan

Lately late at night when I am nursing Jaden in the middle of the night for the 2nd or 3rd time I do a lot of praying, if I'm not falling asleep that is. I have had a lot of time to reflect on God's Perfect Plan! I say Perfect because I see what he has planned for me which may not be what I had planned for myself. This is definitely not the life I planned but the life I was blessed with. I think I have mentioned this many times before but after Kaleigh I did not want any more children, her pregnancy was so hard, but after a while I got over it and talked to Michael about another baby, well initially he said NO, but after much prayer, by many people, Michael changed his mind and we had Madison. She was the perfect pregnancy, again God's Perfect Plan to help Michael forget how hard Kaleigh's pregnancy had been. I made a comment to Michael after she was born that had all our pregnancy's gone so well and had we been a little younger I would have had another baby and had four. He almost fell over and was like No because we can barely handle the three we have now. Well as you know God definitely has other plans and as you can see Jaden was our biggest surprise. Well after I was initially shocked and afraid and freaked out, not trusting again in God, I came to anticipate life with four children. I will admit feeling a little overwhelmed and convinced that Jaden was a girl and knowing that Michael would again freak out over a girl (he adores them but a son would be nice), we were blessed to find out that in fact we would have our son! Again, God's Perfect Plan for our family. Well this pregnancy started out great, I felt pretty good, slept well, ate well and had moderate indigestion. Now having found out I was pregnant at the same time I was weaning Madison, having wisdom teeth pulled, finalizing vacation plans that had been in the works for 5 months and finding out I was going to need a pace maker, January was definitely a crazy month. Well as you guessed again, God's Plan was for timing for everything and like my children I through a hissy fit and cried and turned my anger on him. Well like us we love our children no matter what even when they disobey and throw a temper tantrum. So after adjusting to all of these things and the excitement of having a boy, still feeling a little overwhelmed by the fact that we would have 4 children and getting a pacemaker shortly thereafter. Well as you know as we got to the 32 week things started to take a turn, and I again started to worry (as most mothers do) and wonder why would God give us this new blessing and then threaten to have problems with it, I knew he would bring it about for his glory but I was not trusting enough. Well here we are August 3rd and not only did I have my precious very healthy small little boy (I needed to be able to hold no more than 5lbs after my pacemaker got put in - how perfect was that) but I now feel pretty good. I have had so much support over the past month that I have been able to heal well, nurse well (a big concern) and Jaden is starting sleep longer hours at night, just as my help has ended and now I am on my own. So in God's Perfect Plan - not only did I get the little boy we always wanted, the four children I made a passing comment about, health for myself but I have been blessed so much more than I ever deserve. God is so awesome and I don't say that lightly, I am truly amazed why he would love me so much that he would even care enough about the small details as a 4lb healthy baby boy, to keep me in his grace. WHY I always ask, but I always know the answer because as much as I may love my children, he loves me infinitely more, and for that I am more grateful for the cross every day I live and breathe

. I know I have not said this eloquently enough but it's just me reflecting in my own way.

Copied from my friends post who also Just had her 4th child.

Your other children WILL live. They will live through a few months, or even a year, of too much TV. They will survive even without any sense of a routine or quality interaction with their mother. They will still love you even after witnessing your moments of sheer insanity. They will even be able to go to college despite the absolute lack of any educational experiences during the first year of the new baby. So, don't stress out about it."i read this on another blog of a mom of a newborn (her 5th child). it's ridiculous how much better it made me feel. balancing all these people and life is hard...but i'm trying not to stress. it's just a season. and it will pass so very quickly. (i KNOW this in my head...but my heart screams different things all day.)

Vacation Bible School

This week the girls went to Vacation Bible School, the theme was Noah's Ark, it was a good change of pace for them, plus I had a doctor's appointment almost every day for Madison, Jaden and Me. So with the help of my mom who spent the week helping me out we were able to make it everywhere we needed to be and for the most part on time. Thanks Mom.



The third day was come as your favorite animal, Kaleigh was a mouse and Jordan a Giraffe and Madison just wanted to get in on the fun.

One Month Old

I can't believe it's been one month already, not really sure where the time has gone, with the exception of the sleep deprevation. He is such a sweet little boy and now that we seem to have the refulx under control he seems to be a lot happier. He's already 5lbs 14oz and has grown and inch already. I can't believe he's OUR little boy! It's amazing how much I love this little boy.

Snuggled Up

All the kids have loved to snuggle with their Daddy when they were babies I think it has to do with not smelling breastmilk when they lay on me. It's a special connection between them and him that starts at birth. It always touches my heart.

Sleep Deprevation

OK, so with little sleep comes some really big mistakes. This one's a biggie. Or as Bill Engvall would say "HERE'S YOUR SIGN"!

Never turn your back on an 18 month old with running water to go get a towel!

Yes she's fully clothed!